So as we love and care for Josh we also plan for life “after Josh”. For those of you who think that sounds calloused, let me assure you it is out of love and survival. Josh has been with us every moment of our lives for over thirty-five years. Our only concern has been caring for him. His (Josh) main concern is that Scott and I will be all right without him.

Will we be all right? Yes… we think so…
Will a day go by we won’t miss him horribly? Never!
That is true of Josh.
That is true of Davey, my oldest son who died in 1995.
That is true of the baby I lost in 1963 who never breathed a breath of life.
That is true of every person I have ever lost and probably every person you have lost as well.
But, we must go on…
So we think and pray and think some more.

Scott is retiring. I am retiring. We now will be living on Social Security and Military Retirement solely. Maintaining a condo in Hawaii is expensive and every memory in this condo is “Josh”. Should we buy a different condo or home in Hawaii? It is just too expensive.

So, if not Hawaii, where? We know we want to
stay in the United States, but if we are going to leave this beautiful state we want a real change. That eliminates other tropical paradises. We do not want to face long hot summers. That eliminates the southern states.

We want a state that does not tax our Social Security or Military Retirement. Immediately, that eliminates Colorado, Connecticut, Kansas, Minnesota, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, New Mexico, North Dakota, Rhode Island, Utah, Vermont, West Virginia, and Maryland.

We are left with Maine, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Ohio, New York, Wisconsin, Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Iowa, South Dakota, Wyoming, Idaho, Washington, Oregon, and Alaska as possibilities.

We know we do not want to live in the West. It’s not Hawaii. It’s too far from remaining family and friends. So that leaves Maine, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Ohio, and New York.

My Childhood Home

At this point I become curious. Is it possible? I am excited and miserable having to even think of life without Josh. But, as a small child I lived in upper New York State in a small village called Gloversville. It sits in the foot
hills of the Adirondacks, not far from large cities for adventures. Gloversville is near Scott’s youngest daughter and many of our friends.

Tentatively, I suggest this small village to my precious husband, knowing he is not a fan of cold weather. But, as I explain all the advantages, he becomes as thrilled as I am that we may have found a village to move to. We consider all the possibilities while facing the overwhelming loss ahead. We are planning the unimaginable, a life without Josh.

Homes in Gloversville are reasonably priced. So with heavy hearts we begin looking at real estate. We do not want to upset Josh. We do not want him to know we might move after he dies. But, we start our search. First, we must find a real estate agent willing to help us using just texting and email: no phone calls. After asking six different real estate agents we find a young man willing to help us. We search real estate sites online. Our agent answers questions.

We found the state. We found our village. And, we found an agent. Could this be possible? Could we really want to find a home? A home without Josh…

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Arriving at Tranquility

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